Cold Storage

Maybe if I
Gulp this down
Without water
And hold my throat
Hard enough
Strong enough
All that has been
Thought of as digested,
Forgotten
May stay in
And not jump out at me
Most unexpectedly.

Untitled

Have you ever been there
10,000 phone numbers
Listed on your phone
But not one to call?
Sitting idle on a Sunday afternoon
Hoping life would happen to you
But it doesn't?
Realising everyone but you
Is celebrating something
While what you are celebrating
Is your independence or
Is that lonliness I sense?
Well this is the price you pay
For being bull-headed
Perhaps my mother would say.
I guess she's right!

Closure

Part I
Dreamy even while I'm awake
Eyes shut tight with unrequited sleep
But yet restless & insomniac
The whirlwind in my head
Moves south.
Heart break city
Heart ache city
Lost!
Like I promised I'd be
And then it rains.

Part II
All I had to do
Is turn around
Look at your sleeping face
While I stayed awake
Nursing my aching heart
With all that love
Love from yore
Love today
And it rains
While I silently drift
Into slumber.

Part III
We pass through
Places we held hands
We said goodbyes
We touched
Because there was
Nothing more we could do
No words could express
What you and I felt.
Every place
Was marked by memories of you
Every memory of this city
Is marked by you.

Chronicles of Two ~ I

click to enlarge

Once again they set off     Jumping walls   Sitting with their feet dangling Into imaginery waters.    Wet toes, Longing hearts     Yearning for nothing less than the moon.    What's between you and me Is beyond us she said.   They both agreed. Holding hands     Reaching out to the sky    They dreamt of non-existent swings While they rode to nether lands. Like children       like lovers   Like borne out of each other Sharing bliss sharing sorrow Sharing hurt sharing sweetmeats out of nowhere    Wishing for nothing less than the moon       They rode to nether lands.

അലച്ചില്

എനെറ്റ കൂടുകാരിയ്കു
ഇരുട്ടിെന േപടിയാണ്
ഇരുട്ടിയമുറിയില്
അവള്ക്കുറക്കമില്ല
ഉറങ്ങാത്ത മുറിയില്
നാം
ൈകോകറത്തു േമയ്കോറത്തു
പലരാത്രി കവിതചോല്ലി
കടംകഥകളായി ജീവിച്ചു
---
എനെറ്റ േസ്നഹിഎതയ്കു
ഉറക്കമില്ല
െവയില്െവളിച്ചം നിറഞ്ഞ മുറിയില്
ഉച്ചയുറക്കത്തിന്േപരില്
ഞങ്ങള്
കളിച്ചും ചിരിച്ചും ചുംബിച്ചും
ദിവസങ്ങള് രാത്രികള് വറ്ഷങ്ങള് കഴിഞ്ഞു
---
ഇന്ന
ഈ ഉറക്കമില്ലാത്ത
വറ്ഷങ്ങളിെലഉറക്കം േതടി
ഞാന് അലയുന്നു

Afterday

G: Dear...
A: My legs ache, I feel old
N: Me? I'm tired!
G: When do we meet?
A: Let's roll.
N: I hate to lose control.
G: I think I'm floating
A: The Earth revolves beneath you
N: I can't swallow.

G: I have to go.
A: Stay.
N: Stay.
G: Something's wrong...
A: Let them deal with it.
N: Grunt!

G: Where are we going?
A: Up the road?
N: Down the road?
G: A church?I'm sitting here.
A: I'm across.
N: Child welfare?
G: There comes another.
A: 100?
N: Lets go!

G: To the fair?
A: To the station?
N: Wherever you take me.
G: Let's sing
A: Nursery rhymes?
N: Something else.
G: Ice cream
A: Ice cream
N: Ice cream
G: Chocolate
A: Chocolate
N: Chocolate

G: Butterscotch
A: hmmmmmm...
N: Hot chocolate
G: I miss him
A: I miss him
N: I miss myself
G: So you are going to again?
A: You look beautiful
N: Yes. 2 years. I feel wonderful.

G: I'm not going.
A: I'll join you.
N: I'm happy.

I Chose

So I'm stuck with this aloneness

Well it was a choice
But what are really
The choices we make
The choices that are choiceless?

This is not even about me
This has never been.

It is always been about your grief
How long could I survive that?
What about me?

Does it matter?
After all it's my choice, right.

I can feel the tears swell
They don't seem to find
A way out though

They surge and they recede
Like the moon-teased tides
The tears though
Never hit the shore.

I'm beyond any comprehension
Of my own feelings

If you find me strewn around
Believe me
There won't be any
Emotions in them.
It's a choice I made.