I Chose

So I'm stuck with this aloneness

Well it was a choice
But what are really
The choices we make
The choices that are choiceless?

This is not even about me
This has never been.

It is always been about your grief
How long could I survive that?
What about me?

Does it matter?
After all it's my choice, right.

I can feel the tears swell
They don't seem to find
A way out though

They surge and they recede
Like the moon-teased tides
The tears though
Never hit the shore.

I'm beyond any comprehension
Of my own feelings

If you find me strewn around
Believe me
There won't be any
Emotions in them.
It's a choice I made.