No Reason for a Hypothesis

Hypothetically
I have no excuse for
Being in love with you.
In this hypothesis
Eyes have met
And sparked many a moments
Conversations have
Transgressed intimacies.
If this was
Indeed a hypothesis,
Then perhaps you’d feel the same
Longing, needing, wanting
Instead, it is all about
Deterring, overwhelming, without.

Dancee

You swept me off my feet
Danced with me
And beckoned me to
Dream a little dream
Of you.

CloudCity

This city
That smells
Of temple smoke
Autorickshaw exhaust
And the dampness of rain.
This city
Trains screaming afar
Through the mumbles
Of incessant raindrops
Singing a comforting lullaby.
This city
Overcast
That tell stories.
Clouds, a messenger
From yesterday
For today.
This city
Green with envy
Yet content with self
In it's cold monsoon morning
Tazes away remains of sleep
From my dreary eyes.
This city
Forces out
The love in me
Tosses it around
And envelopes me
Back in it.

Cold Storage

Maybe if I
Gulp this down
Without water
And hold my throat
Hard enough
Strong enough
All that has been
Thought of as digested,
Forgotten
May stay in
And not jump out at me
Most unexpectedly.

Closure

Part I
Dreamy even while I'm awake
Eyes shut tight with unrequited sleep
But yet restless & insomniac
The whirlwind in my head
Moves south.
Heart break city
Heart ache city
Lost!
Like I promised I'd be
And then it rains.

Part II
All I had to do
Is turn around
Look at your sleeping face
While I stayed awake
Nursing my aching heart
With all that love
Love from yore
Love today
And it rains
While I silently drift
Into slumber.

Part III
We pass through
Places we held hands
We said goodbyes
We touched
Because there was
Nothing more we could do
No words could express
What you and I felt.
Every place
Was marked by memories of you
Every memory of this city
Is marked by you.

For my Unnamed

How do you do it?
Make me feel the way I do
Two minutes in your city
And I'm reeling
With vivid memories of you
With your voice resonating in me.
I wasn't ever there with you
There at that spot
Where now I could see you
Sit across the table from me
And talk to me
And behave as if
It's the couple on the next table
Playing footsie, now, then.
How is it that all seems so real
Like dry wine down my throat
I feel the tingles, the bitterness,
And the taste lingers.
I love it!
But how do you do it?

Feast Anticipation

Picked the ripest
Red'est tomatoes for her, juicy
I'm cooking
For she is coming home.
We'll hug, hold hands
And baby-talk all night
Lick curry of each other's fingers
Place food bites & bites
On each others lips.

Look at me all for you
I screamed hugs on the phone
Just now,
She's on her way!
Listening to the same song
On loop for the 11th time
I await her
Lust comfort love affection
All rise in me
And warm my ears.

Every bell rings the door
Every me rings with her
And every she is only for me.
Ripe red relished!

For The N'th Time

And yet again
In these
274 days
And a week that
I've known you
Yet another goodbye
We try.

I know
I'll fail
Miserably yet again

For the day
I say goodbye
You loom
In my thoughts
And all I think of
Is my hand you held
Fingers intertwined
When I had just
When you had just
Gotten to know
A day before you left
As we walked
Up -down the beach

Our first goodbye.

I believe I didn't
Know you then
We trace back
That moment
You and I became
Us
Was it when we
Counted the stars
Or shaped the clouds
Or sang in the rain
In the middle of the sea
Or in drunken stupor
I touched you
In the dark.

Now I know
Every contour
Of your body
Of you.

And yet I say goodbye
Because I love you too much?
because I'm afraid
You would forget
What these
Nine months and a week
Has given me;
Has given you.
I tell myself
Let the embers burn
Let the sparks fly
Let it smolder
And in its heat
Within days that
Become months
And years
We'll find
Our way.

I fail
Miserably
Again
I'm not ready
For any goodbyes!!

21.06.07
12.41 am

What say?

YESTERDAY
I am here tonight
So let me seep into you
Breathe through you
Touch your insides
Till they tingle
With me.
You may, but
They will never forget
The me that had been there.
I'll sing for you
"Lag ja gale ke phir..."
And make the song come true.
I'll make you know
What each word means.
I have lived life such
With a sense of
Restlessness
Urgency
As if
It ends tonight
And I will never see
A tomorrow again!


TODAY
I shall see us through this
And what if
We do rise
With the sunshine in
Each other's face tomorrow?
What if I may
Live another night
Of restlessness
And urgency
And see another day In your arms?
What say
We aim for forever?

Kasauli Greens

Green
Endless greens
Here I am
Out to lose myself
And I've lost it
Lost myself
Search.
Hunt.
Find.
Within me
Within you
Under my
Flesh
Loose and wobbly
Under yours
Tight and supple?
Butterflies flutter
And I think of her
You think of her too
It's a shadow on your face
You think
I'd miss??
Two butterflies
Now three
Dancing prancing
Up down
Now here now there
I point you point
Time for a smoke
Sit breathe
Oh fat me
Tired so easily
And you
So encouraging
Your ten steps
Slow down to
Mine
One two
Breathe breathe.
I lost us in the woods
I let us be there
We shall
Never return
As you and me
Never will we be
Us again.
We'll remain
Lost, somewhere, together...

24.05.07
5.45 pm
Kasauli

Chasing the Rains

I
Two drags of a cigarette
And the mad rains
Blue skies
And black clouds
Bounteous and bursting,
And You.
Shudders fill the night
You swell and flow
And rain on me
The thunder
And my song.

26.10.06
06.04pm

II
You build in me
An ocean
Turbulence
Unrest
And then
You dip
Deep
Drenching yourself
In me
Dripping
And I
Rise and thrash
Wave after wave
Washing you
Ashore
Salty
Mmmmmm...

04.11.06
02.19pm

III
Ripe oranges
I devour
Each
Juicy
Hair and All
Rains that pour
Exhausted we lie
Entwined
Endless
Why it rains
You ask
Half joy
Half vex
Because I want it to
I say
It is for me.

09.11.06
12.12am

Too drunk To fuck!

Been listening to Nouvelle Vague lately.
Initiated Aman also into it.
Interesting music!

Right now...
I'm so tired...
Yeah yeah, who wants to know.
Then don't read!
*Highly Volatile*
*Inflammable*
but...I'm too drunk to fuck!

In that space
Where what I need most right now
What I wish for most right now
Is her!
She, who is amidst snow topped mountains
From where she can see zillions of stars
Where she can point out the milky way to me
Where a cat walks into a room and adopts her
And visits a temple of Maa Bhangayani
Where she walks downhill and I know her back hurts

Experiencing experiences
I can never be a part of
She's promised me the snow
And a hopeful snow fight!

I wish for her the most, right now!